Two Poems by Thomas Gregorich


Making A Name for Himself


Mr. Jenelius,

went by his alias,

Mr. Palamajaloo.


His new boss, Mr. Bragg,

Observed his nametag,

and said, “Jesus. What asshole

named you!”









And… if that poem is not enough for you, here’s another…





Right All Along


Lifting a sack,

I strained my back–

You can ask my coworker, Sidney.

And I said to the jerk,

Who said, “Get back to work,”

“But I’ve ruptured a god damned



And when the doctor said, “Why,

you’re perfectly fine,

Despite what you might believe.”

I knew along,

He was perfectly wrong,

And that no one believed it but me.


So I went to another,

Who was bud’s with my brother,

And he gave me a bottle of pills.

I took them all in one swallow,

‘Til the bottle was hollow,

But too late! I soon fell very ill.


I was put in a bed,

With a towel on my head,

Then in came my coworker, Sidney.

And he said I was right

All along, but not quite—

‘Twas my liver and

Never my kidney.


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