Observation Poems II: “Lounge,” by Rachel McCutcheon

Here’s another from the assignment where students were asked to go sit in some “natural” environment for 5 minutes and write down everything they sensed and everything they thought about. They would then take these notes and create a poem. This one seems much more a straightforward record of experiences than “Greener Days” (posted below). Yet the choice of details, the wording, and the line break are intriguing to me. Not to analyze too closely but I notice, for example, that the last images (texting and headphones) are – arguably – small examples of people turning “inward” – and they are followed by the writer’s own final “inward” reflection.  Well, read it for yourself…


Lounge – Rachel McCutcheon

Peaceful, Warm
Some choose to read, as the sound of the pages turning almost completely passes my ears
I hear the outside doors opening and closing, time after time
I hear the sound of heels clicking by me- most likely the sound of a teacher
Students come to get a quick snack or quench their thirst
I hear coins inserting, falling down into the machine
No arguing, just laughter and harmless gossiping
I smell the toxins from people smoking cigarettes outside, every time the door is opened
breeze of air is felt lightly over my body
The smell of coffee vaguely lingers here
My ears get carried from conversation to conversation<
Waiting here patiently for my next class, don’t mind being here
I see kids playing hacky-sac outside the glass window,
enjoying themselves, passing time by, like everyone else
People text while others jam out with their headphones on
I don’t mind being here
It’s Peaceful.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s