Poetry: “Untitled” – by Keisha Heathman

Untitled

i feel as if my life is about to be turned upside down
and my plastered smile will become a permanent frown
all of my hopes and dreams will just fade away
and i pray that I never have to see another day
Doctors, they tell me that I’m just depressed
But i think that my life is just a big mess
I depended on a man to make me feel good
To take me from the girl that is misunderstood
To the girl that everyone wants to know
Who doesn’t need a man cause she can hold her own
if only I could smile and know that it’s real
if only it was that easy for my heart to just heal
these moments of suicide are just so damn surreal
like my fuckin life is a roulette wheel
I could end it all and take the coward way out
Just end my life and all these god-damn doubts
but what exactly would I write in my suicide note?
That I’m sorry to my son because I slit my throat
Yea baby I know that you’ll cry for a while
But there will be a day when you’re able to smile
And I’m so sorry for causing you this pain
Sentencing you to a life of shame and disdain
Just because my pain was too hard to explain
To do that to you I must be fuckin insane
All I can do is try to live
And maybe someday i’ll be able to forgive

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