Who Are You?
The echo of your laughter is getting further and further away. I remember a time when your eyes sparkled with joy and your smile eased the pain of an unforgiving day. You were mother, father and best friend. You were my sanctuary. Today, I search for the woman you once were and in her place is damaged shell overflowing with fear, pain and bitterness. It is hard to meet your eyes when it causes insurmountable pain in my chest.
Who are you woman, the one who has replaced my mother? What have you done to her? I don’t recognize this person in front of me. Her eyes look at me with suspicion. “Why are you trying to poison me?” My mother would never ask me such a question. She knows my love for her is immeasurable and I’d never hurt her. Who is this imposter?
There was a time when she would walk for hours on end, breathing in the oxygen from the trees surrounding her. She’d lift her face to the sun and let it give her a gentle kiss upon her face. Now, she is suffocating in a tiny room with trash bags covering the windows, curled in a corner scarred for her life.
“They’re trying to kill me!” She looks like a caged animal.
“Who, Ma? Who’s trying to kill you?” She can’t hear me. Her mind is trapped in a Hell of her own making.
How do I get her back, the mother I once knew?
Can I ever get her back?
Why Have You Forsaken Me?
Where are you Father? Why have you abandoned me? Have I not served you faithfully for all of my days? There is no end to the pain. You said no weapon formed against me shall prosper, but it feels like everyone around has a weapon pointed at me, stabbing me from every direction. My shields are gone, corroded by time. Each new day, piece by piece my armor falls away.
I have never known innocence. It was viciously ripped from me when I was naught but a child. I trusted him because my father trusted him. That was a mistake.
I spent the nights drinking away my pain. I did any drug put before me, hoping to forget, but my memories only got stronger.
Forgive me Father, for I have wavered in my faith.
They won’t leave me alone.
“Dead or in Jail. Choose.” This is what the man told me. I was too close. I saw too much. I wish I was blind, then maybe I wouldn’t see the treachery around me. I would be at peace with my own mind. But I am cursed. There is no happy ending for me.
Death. I choose death.